Wednesday, 26 October 2016

Blog Paper's Movie News: Unclogged! - w/c 24th Oct 2016

Welcome to Movie News: Unclogged! Your guide to the weeks best headlines in Hollywood. The news is true, some of the details are not.

Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them won't be in cinemas until 18th November, but it has already been announced that J.K. Rowling will be working a further five movies in the series. The fifth of these films will be split into two parts, 5a and 5b with 5b being turned into a further two movies 5b.1 and 5b.2. This pattern will carry on until all the money in the world has been hoovered up into the Potter World coffers or the end of the world arrives, which ever comes first. Possible titles for the movies are Fantastic Beasts and How to Fondle Them, Fantastic Beasts and Exploitation of Wallets and Fantastic Beasts Vs Superman.

There are worries that Hollywood is in turmoil as no new movies to star Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson have been announced this week. Johnson, who is currently filming the sequel to family classic Jumanji, has an estimated 727 projects in development all for release next year. It is expected that, with the sudden three days down time in his schedule Dwayne will be able to use the bonus day it allows him to develop new muscles previously unknown to the human species.

The Smithsonian kick started a kickstarter campaign to help raise money to carry out preservation work on Dorothy's iconic ruby slippers as worn by Judy Garland in The Wizard of Oz. They hoping to raise $300,000 help conserve the shoes that have lost some of their sparkle over the last 80 years. It is believed that most of the money required will be raised by donations from Bay Area drag artists alone. There is, however, no plan to use an excess donations to help preserve Steven Segal's chef hat from Under Siege.

Awesome actor J.K. Simmons noted, in an interview with Entertainment Weekly, that he is very excited to be working on the next Batman movie with Ben Affleck. His take on beloved D.C. character Commissioner James Gordon will first be seen in Zac Snyder's Justice League movie next year. It is believed he will have a greater role to play in Affleck's "The Batman" currently in pre-production. Simmons says that his iteration of Gordon will be "more bad ass." Possibilities of a Suicide Squad make over with "To Protect and Serve" tattooed on his forehead have yet to be verified.

Boo! A Madea Halloween beat Jack Reacher; Never Go Back into submission at the U.S. box office with a $27.6 million take this weekend. Boo! Written, directed, produced, catered by and starring Tyler Perry is part of a long running series of movies featuring the outspoken matriarch that is largely unknown in other territories like  the U.K. Studio executives intend to address this problem by creating a Madea extended universe in the Marvel style. Expect Madea Vs. Big Momma to hit the screens in 2018.

Deadpool 2 has hit the headlines this week with the unfortunate news that the project has lost it's director Tim Miller who has left the sequel to his smash hit over creative differences. The news still hot off the presses has already spurred fans of the merc with a mouth to start a petition to have the directors chair filled with the prestigious butt of Quentin Tarantino. The Blog Paper office finds this prospect very exciting but we would like to propose an alternative of Terry Hughes, veteran director of The Golden Girls as a Wade Wilson Vs Blanche spin off just sounds too good to miss. 

In other Deadpool 2 news four actresses are being considered for the role of Domino. They are looking for an actress who is not a push over and can be counted on.

Tune in next week for more of Blog Paper's Movie News: Unclogged!

Monday, 17 October 2016

Welcome one and welcome all to Blog Paper! Admission is free and no two drink minimum!

Now, I know what you are thinking. You are thinking "How on earth have I wondered into this god forsaken corner of the internet when I was clearly trying to find videos of doggies playing the Ukulele" Well I tell you how my friend, it is either Karma or Kismet. Let's go with the later because Karma would suggest you did something really rather naughty, possibly involving a frog, some cellophane and one of those little whisk things you get with gift sets of hot chocolate and marshmallows in a mug. You sir and/or madame do not look like a naughty person - you look like the dependable type, strong of character of whom their souffles never droop and always wash their undies with the right soap.

No, your being here is Kismet, it is meant to be, tis written in the skies. The stars have aligned into a formation that could only happen once in a lifetime, one that if looked at correctly would probably look like a dirty big arrow pointing at a laptop - or maybe some boobs, one or the other. You are supposed to be here at BLOG PAPER! The best little web site you never heard of.

Let me show you around.

Right here is Blog Paper Central. Over the coming weeks we are going to cover all sorts of pop culture topics. We will cover all the usual news and reviews for all that is current and trendy for all your blockbusters, t.v. seasons and musical tastes and anything and everything that relates to them..and quite at lot that doesn't. However, we will also be covering a lot of stuff that you haven't heard from for a very long time if at all. Everyone and their ukulele playing labradoodle will have a blog to tell you what they think about the latest superhero cinematic effort or how Walking Dead would be so much better if you swapped out the zombies for French, C.I.A. trained, Ninja Mimes. We want to bring your attention to the stuff that you might have flown under your radar because it didn't have much exposure or was deemed a bit rubbish on release but over time has actually blossomed into what could have been a genuine classic. We will cover everything from Abbott and Costello to Zelig. Don't know who or what they are? Exactly the point, stick around and find out!

There is a wealth of entertainment around the globe that just plain doesn't get released world wide and whole countries are missing out on. Which brings me to our sister site "Blog Paper's Corner Gas Corner". Down below is a little picture link, have a click on it and discover Canada's finest sit-com. This is a show that we found by accident, just like your good self and Blog Paper. Hopefully we will introduce you to what will become one of your new found favourite shows, so in return, we would like you to tell us about yours.

Do you have a favourite show, movie, book, band or mime that you think have been unjustly over looked or are just not getting the exposure that they deserve? Maybe, there is a movie that most consider truly woeful but you hold dear to your heart. Well tell us about it, we will look into and give them the write up they deserve. There is a link below for the Blog Paper e-mail, send us a message telling us about something you want to see on here in the weeks to come and we will do our best to sort it out.

We also have another site linked below, Blog Paper's Quick Wipes. Here you will find all sorts of goofy stuff to lighten your week. One liner's, poems and skits to make you giggle, guffaw and groan. Quick Wipes will also contain features about our Comedy Heroes for more feathers to tickle the posterior of your mirth.

In between all the geeky stuff, when the mood take us, we will cover all sorts of earth shattering current affairs and topics of a topical nature. For example soon we will look at the genetic fiddlisation that is the horse shaped cow.

Horse shaped cow milk now available from your preferred retailer

So like us, follow us, mail us. We have Twitter, Facebook and all that other clever stuff. Join in, get involved. Stick around - we got all the doggies playing ukulele you can shake a stick at - but don't shake a stick at them because they will stop playing the uke and chase the stick instead.