A post about hard work, friendliness and awesome strangers

Running a blog is hard work. You spend an inordinate amount of time putting together a decent post and even longer on social media trying to persuade people to visit your website to read said post. All this in hope that you might get a little bit of popularity and the net will start flinging wads of cash at you like it does for most teenagers out there who own an iPhone. To most, it seems all you need to do these days is put out a video on You Tube of someone jumping off a thing to try and land on another thing, whilst wearing a pair of skis,and do this all before a ping pong ball, which is rolling down an intricate maze of household objects in a precarious manner, bounces off a cat that is playing a banjo. Bam! Suddenly you are 18 and buying gold plated, monogrammed, toilet brushes.

It's not that easy, weather you put a lot of work into your internet output or not, the biggest card that is played in Internet stardom, like a lot of things in life, is luck. Then you have to work hard to keep that popularity once you have it, which is even harder than getting there in the first place.

Though I am working hard, I am not under any misconception that the bucks are going to coming shooting through the letterbox like so many invites to attend school at Hogwarts. However, I put together this site with the hope that some little bit of notoriety may be attributed to my particular brand of silliness. I am happiest when I see that more than three people have read a post and one of those people was in deepest, darkest Peru (who knew Paddington and his family had such good wifi!) That is good enough for me, unless someone fancies bunging me a few quid, don't get me wrong. Amazing Spider-man branded man-kinis don't buy themselves you know!

Since starting this venture, I have become aware just how many other people similar to me are out there doing the same thing. Not just from the blog and ping pong cat bouncing video communities. There are people from all different walks of life and career choice trying to make things happen for themselves. It's an obvious thing to say I guess, but all over social media, the more you plug your own work, you are made more aware of others doing the same with varying degree's of success.

You will also find people who have already made it, they have strove (stroved, striven...strivulated?), paid the dues and on their way to mountains of success in their chosen field. I have found that these people can be amazingly supportive and friendly. A like of a tweet or an instagram photo from a complete stranger very satisfying, especially if that same person keeps liking your output. It shows a level of enjoyment of your work from them that is, to me, more important than any monetary gain. Honestly, it is! These chaps and chapettes don't have to do this, they already have zillions of followers, it does get their info into your timeline, but I am sure they are aware it also helps you out by getting you in theirs. Which is a lovely thing to do in this digital age where we are all mostly aware of the unpleasant things that go on out there in internet land.

There are two people out there that have liked Blog Paper efforts in social media world that I would like to bring to your attention to. Not a big deal to them I am sure, but thanks to their likes on Twitter and Instagram a good few extra people came floating my way. Jamie Bernadette and Mack Kuhr are two actors that are working hard and making waves and have some pretty exciting stuff on the horizon.

JAMIE BERNADETTE

Very busy since hitting the scene in 2008, Miss Bernadette as a packed filmography on IMDb. Just reading the list of projects shows her trajectory, swapping bit parts in features and shorts for leading roles in movies of every description. She seems to be making a name for herself as an upcoming Scream Queen as a number of her upcoming movies are of the horror genre, although she is a versitile actress taking on roles in everything from comedy to romantic drama. Most notable of the titles that feature on her coming soon quota is I Spit on Your Grave: Deja Vu. This is a direct sequel to the notorious 1978 classic horror/thriller rather than anothe follow up to the recent remake. The movie also stars Camille Keaton, reprising her role from the first movie and is written and directed by also returning Meir Zarchi.

Jamie is certainly cutting swathes through the horror category, most excitingly with "The 6th Friend" which she not only stars in but also co-wrote and produced. The movie centers around a group of college friends who throw a graduation party which ends tragically after an uninvited guest arrives. Five years later the girls gather again ti endure a night of terror and bloodshed! The movie has already won Jamie two best actress awards and best picture at two major horror festivals.

You can also check out some of her other work, such as All Girls Weekend and Let's Be Evil, via all  usual outlets. So it is onwards and upwards for Miss Bernadette and we look forward to keeping up with all her future efforts.

MACK KUHR

Mr. Kuhr is also a very busy chap. His resume includes appearances in the amazing John Wick and its' upcoming sequel. His IMDB entry is littered with some very cool movies and t.v. shows, however, the fact that I received an Instagram like message from someone who was in 2014's Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles reboot made me a very cool dude indeed in the eyes of my children!

Any ladies who espouse the old adage that men can not multi task only need to look at Mack's list of career options to realise there is the odd one or two of us out there that are spinning plates like there is no tomorrow. Actor, Stuntman, Model, Voice Actor, the list goes on. I'd imagine that he can also make a pretty mean cup of coffee if a role required it, probably whilst laying some smack down on a baddie and saving a kitten from a tree.

Mack has popped up in innumerable popular t.v. shows such as Ugly Betty, Gossip Girl and Gotham. He also made an appearance in Jessica Jones another title that got the Blog Paper household very excited.

It is another of his upcoming ventures that look like an exciting one to watch, Sci Fi Thriller Alterscape, starring bonefide legend Michael Ironside. It is the first feature from writer/director Serge Levin who is currently linked to the next in the ReAnimator franchise. The movie, which should be released in July, is the tale of a young man, suffering from depression, who submits himself for a series of trials developed to fine tune human emotions. His unique reaction to the experiment sends him on a journey beyond physical and perceived reality.

So thanks to these two awesome people for the support they showed me with a few happy clicks on their preferred social media sites. A simple thing, even if done on a whim, but helped me out immensely. That kindness deserves a kindness. My hope is their work, tweets and posts will suddenly saur in popularity because of this little entry. If one more person in deepest, darkest Peru takes a look at their projects then my work is done. So please, check the links above their official sites, go see their movies and t.v. shows. Oh, and don't forget to tell everyone www.blogpaper.co.uk sent you!

Blog Paper's Movie News: Unclogged - w/c 5th December 2016

The headlines are true, some of the facts may very well not be!

George Lucas has had a preview screening of next weeks big release Rogue One: A Star Wars Story. Apparently George liked it a lot. He was rather taken aback by the full bodied story, good acting, well rounded characters and decent dialogue. "I didn't know you could do that" he was thought to be heard mumbling before he was seen running from the screening straight into an editing suite yelling "Do over!" and starting to furiously re-edit Star Wars Episodes 1 - 3 again.

In further Rogue One news. Positive reactions abound as press members were treated to a viewing of 28 minutes of footage from the movie. The footage showed that the movie will be grittier and seems to contain some relentless action scenes whilst new droid K-2S0 steals the show. The journalists lucky enough to be invited to the screening took straight to twitter, here are some of their views:-

@moviesquirt - "Amazed that the rebels are shown to have stolen the wrong blue prints and manage to take down the planetary defenses of Alderaan"

@projectthis - "Aunt Beru is one hot momma! #poledancingscene

@starwarsbores - "No opening crawl! How are we supposed to know what has happened previously!"

@Framemyparts - "Awesome - the Death Star plans have a Starbucks, Footlocker, a Walmart  and feature plenty of disabled parking"

The box office take for Doctor Strange has surpassed that of Iron Man to make Marvel Studios latest entry the most successful solo character outing in their canon. Tony Stark insists that the Doc cheated by counting the box office dollars from theaters in other dimensions as well as our own. 

The Universal Studios Monsters Extended Universe is soon to get underway with The Mummy being released from it's tomb next year. This week saw the release of the trailer for the Tom Cruise action/horror epic. Originally, the universe was to be kicked off with Dracula Untold in 2014. Universal announced this week that this is no longer the case, probably due to that film only having modest success at the box office. If The Mummy does not strike box office gold then Universal have prepared a further statement that it is also no longer the start of the Monsters franchise and that next movie in line, the as yet untitled Invisible Man movie, will be the official start of the universe. If Invisible Man bombs out then a further statement will be made that The Wolfman is the official start of the timeline, and so on until someone gets it right. 

Moana is still cleaning up at the box office. If you are one of those movie maniacs that like to look for Easter eggs in your Disney movies you can find characters from Frozen, Wreck It Ralph, Aladdin and others in the background of certain scenes in the beach based adventure. If you look hard enough you can also see cleverly hidden pictures of Mickey Mouse, Darth Vader and Iron Man beating the living snot out of the Ninja Turtles, Superman and Batman whilst throwing spare box office dollars at them as they lie buckled, bruised and crying in the sand. You have to look really hard for that one.

Armie Hammer has been teasing fans with tweets suggesting that he has been signed up for a new major role. Internet buzz suggests he could now be involved in the DCEU Green Lantern Corps movie, which rings true as the former Lone Ranger is well known for getting involved in long running, majorly successful franchises.*

Spider-man: Homecoming had a trailer released this week and already it is looking like the movie really should be sub-titled Home Run! Following up on his cameo in Captain America: Civil War, Tom Holland looks like he has got the title role nailed. We also get brief glimpses of The Vulture and Shocker as the movie villans, looking all futuristic and naughty like. We at unclogged feel that this film is likely to be the greatest Marvel release yet, which is quite a statement as everything they ever do is amazing and a perfect work of art. Little can be told about Homecoming as yet but, just from this trailer alone we can tell that every single frame will be worthy of an Oscar. I am sure the internet will crash a million times over with entire population of earth trying to pre-book tickets for multiple screenings. We say this and we haven't actually seen the movie, but maybe some kind and generous and handsome and/or beautiful employee at Marvel Studios would be gracious enough to send us tickets and merchandise so we can write so much more butt lickery like the above about this shining achievement in motion picture production. Blog Paper: Unclogged - bringing you unbiased bribery based journalism at it's very best.

Fan favorite actor Michael Rooker shared a picture of the new look for his, Guardians of the Galaxy Volume 2, character Yondu on social media this week. His metal, arrow controlling head nubbin is now a full on fin. The internet is a quiver with movie nuts trying to guess what the fin will be used for. Most likely assumptions are that it is an Ariel for satellite television, for scaring small children whilst swimming at the beach or it's a butter knife. Another popular theory is that Yondu actually has a swiss army head with many different appendages for uses as diverse as being a cork screw to one for getting stones out of a horses hoof.

And finally...

The Rock this week has been very upset at the news that he has gone through another week without an announcement for a future project for him to add to his current rosta of 757 up coming movies. The word is that on the set of Jumanji 2, in a sudden bout of rage, the mightily muscled one grabbed co-star Kevin Hart and accidentally snapped him in two

*You know this is sarcasm right? It's really hard to write a gag like this without putting everything in italics and thus treading on the subtlety that I am aiming for. Of course you got it though because you are an intelligent well read individual. I can tell just by looking at you...have you done something new with your hair by the way? You look fabulous!**

** This too should be in italics

Blog Paper's Movie News: Unclogged! w/c 21st Nov 2016

The headlines are true, some of the details may well not be!

Mission Impossible 6 had it's release date set by Paramount this week. The new movie, again to star Tom Cruise, will be heading to the big screen on July 17th 2018. Cruise has already said that the film promises more incredible set pieces and what he thinks will be a very entertaining and compelling story. In an attempt to add some gritty realism, this time around Ethan Hunt and his team will go up against a billionaire despot who attempts to destroy the world by making the population run themselves through with sharp sticks rather than listen to his inane drivel and look at his stupid hair doo.

The follow up to this weeks biggest release Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them is two years away from the big screen but it is already known that the action will take place in Paris, France. J.K. Rowling has stated on Twitter that another rumor that is doing rounds is untrue. Apparently, many fans have been lead to believe that the story takes place only two days after the events of the first film, J.K. tells us this is not the case. The Potterverse followers are now throwing their Bertie Botts Beans about in anticipation of confirmation of this intricate detail that may be the make or break of the film being worth seeing or not. One anonymous fan took to social media yesterday to say "Never mind the plot, characters or interesting special effects - we need to know if the story takes place on a Thursday!" In further Harry Potter developments Unclogged can exclusively reveal that we now know that J.K. does not stand for "Jiggly Knockers"

Paramount also announced "Downsizing" date this week. This turns out to be a new comedy to star Matt Damon and has nothing to do with redundancies being made due to the poor box office take on a lot of the studio's tent pole releases this year. The movie will be out December 22nd 2017 in case you fancied spending two hours of precious last minute Christmas shopping time in the cinema next year.

Lionsgate have hired writing duo Neil Widener and Gavin James to write Now You See Me 3. The pair have also been tasked with penning the screenplay for San Andreas 2. They have now earned a reputation as the team to go to for unlikely sequels. Next up on their to do list is Ishtar 2: Camels Ho! and Howard the Duck: Wings of Fury.

Micheal Keaton is confirmed to be playing avian based baddie The Vulture in Marvel Studios Spider-man: Homecoming. This could be the second part of the "Tweety Bird Trilogy" Keaton has been working on for some years. Following previous entry Birdman, the set could be concluded in him being cast in the reboot of The Crow. Most likely is a role in The Birds 2: Even More Birds or Howard the Duck 3: What the Quack!

The movie version of popular video game series Uncharted is finally expected to start filming next summer after being stuck in development hell for what seems forever. According to director Shaun Levy, the treasure seeking tale will not be another Indiana Jones or National Treasure, it will be an entirely different unique entity. This can only mean that the story line will be based on U.K's top 80's television game show sensation Treasure Hunt. Expect negotiations to start with the shows star Anneka Rice and her bottom very soon. (Trust me, the rest of the world and British citizens under 30,  that gag was very funny.)

First Olympus fell over and then London now Angel. Angel Has Fallen is the next in the series of action epics starring Gerard Butler, Angel being a reference to Air Force One, the plane that Harrison Ford had a spot of bother with a few years back. It seems that co-star Aaron Ekhart will not be along for the ride in his roll as the President of the United States. The story will now revolve around, bodyguard supreme,  Mike Banning being tasked with protecting President Trump. Mike decides it's really not worth his effort and Trump gets blown to smithereens by terrorists. A fourth in the series Jenga has Fallen is also in development.

New Disney animation Moana has had to have a title change in Italy due to it's similarity to the name of infamous Italian adult movie star Moana Pozzi. After forming a writers room to come up with a safer title for Italian theaters Disney toyed with changing the name to Groaner or Screamer before settling on Oceana. Look out for sequels to include  Deep Oceana and Oceana is Wet very soon.

Ellen Page is in Ireland working on new zombie movie "The Third Wave" at the moment. The movie has managed to come in under budget by filming locals leaving the pub instead of hiring actors to play zombies.

In a sudden flash of inspiration Hollywood have decided that what the world needs is another version of the Robin Hood story to be told. The movie will star Taron Egerton and Jamie Foxx and is produced by Leonardo DeCaprio. Apparently, the story is going to be told as it has never been told before. King John is to be a time travelling cyborg from the planet Kruud. Robin is given super powers from the mystical elves of the forest before having to use them to bring down the King and his hoard of evil, trained  Ninja Spider Monkeys. A final showdown will take place in the King's underwater lair.

You may remember, a few paragraphs back we mentioned new Disney treat Moana, which features the voice of muscle mountain Dwayne Johnson. When the movie is released there are only another 757 projects Dwayne has left on his up coming slate, but nothing new has been released for over three weeks. The drought of movie announcements for The Rock seems nowhere near an end. Rumors abound that if the problem is not seen to shortly it will be announced that Dwayne will be starring in a movie based on a weak running joke from an obscure movie blog site very soon.

Come back next week for more movie news that has been tinkered with a smidge.